Hair today, Gone tomorrow

On Sunday, I took a photo of Buford and I with our matching heads, which I posted earlier. I just thought I had better get a picture before my hair was gone. It was a good thing because later that same night, I took a shower and looked down to find myself covered in hair. It was falling right out with a little help from the water. Although I think I've done everything I can to prepare myself for this, it wasn't any less shocking for me. Its a very wierd thing to get into the shower with a nearly normal head of hair and get out with a nearly bald head. I stood in the mirror for several minutes with tears in my eyes. But, then I took a deep breath and just walked away. I was swirling with emotion, not just about hair loss, but about everything that has and is happening for me. When your challenge is visible through a surgery scar or hair loss it provokes a different kind of emotional release I think.

For the most part, I am going through my daily life pretty normally. I have been feeling more like my old self lately. I'm working, having fun, feeling good, not so sad, and more accepting of the present moment that I'm in. Losing my hair is bringing up feelings of other losses I'm experiencing though. Its strange though because on one hand, its not that bad and I truly have the thought, thank goodness its just hair. But, it also feels like I'm losing a little part of myself. Although I want to handle it with grace, I am finding that feelings of shame, embarrassment, and sadness are right in front of my face. I believe that I will get through those feelings, but right now, I'm looking for the patience I need in order to do that. This is a very strange experience.


So, you saw the picture on Sunday night of Buford and I. . . well, here are photos later that night. .

And here are photos of day one in a scarf (yesterday) that I clearly don't know how to wrap on my head. I did my best, but spent the day feeling like others were looking at me wondering what statement I was trying to make by wearing a turbin.


Most of my hair is gone now, just two days after it really started coming out. I'll spare you those pictures though. . .

Be Well!