Chemo #4 - Halfway There

I had my 4th round of chemo last Wednesday. I have hesitated to write about how I'm doing because I feel like a broken record. Each time is different, but basically each round has some varying degree of misery. I'm happy to say that this one has been better than the previous ones in terms of side effects though. I haven't been very sick and there was no major headache. However, I have still spent the better part of 5 days in bed. I just have no energy. I have never experienced such a thing and its really hard to try and explain. The days blur together so much that it hardly matters whether its day or night. I spend so much time resting that I begin to wonder if all this rest is making it worst. My mind and my body sort of begin to play tricks on me it seems. I wonder if I really feel as bad as I think I do. Could it really be possible to be so wiped out? So, I try to get up and I last about 10 minutes before I feel like I'm ready to collapse and I conclude that it must be possible. My body doesn't feel like my own right now. I'm sore from being so sedentary and I'm out of breath with just the smallest bit of activity. Considering the fact that I was far from "fit" before all this started, I wonder how I'll ever rise above when this is done. I am doing my best to be patient and take care of myself, but the feeling of defeat as I get through this first week after chemo feels like more than I can handle sometimes. I know it will pass somewhere inside of me, so I keep looking toward that. My next 4 rounds of chemo are a different kind of medicine that is supposed to be a little gentler than the kind used for my first 4 rounds so I'm also hopeful about that.

The weather has been incredible and although I haven't been out enjoying it nearly as much as I would like, I have been able to go on a short walk almost everyday. Today I took the dogs to the beach with intention to walk, but instead layed down on the sand and took a nap. It was really peaceful with the warm sun, sounds of the waves, and a light breeze. Duke finally woke me up by coming over and plopping his wet, sandy body right on top of me.

I love pictures, but since I don't have any to post from today, I thought I'd show you one from this time last year. It was actually a week or so later than now, but last September, Nome had its second "30 year storm". In October 2004 there was the biggest storm that Nome had seen in 30 years. We had flooding in most of the downtown shops, restaurants, etc. There were boulders and logs thrown up from the ocean onto our main road. And the waves were crashing at up to 30 feet above the shore line. The rivers were overflowing and some roads were even eroded away. It was quite incredible actually and went on for 2 days. I felt like I was in a National Geographic moment, or at least a once in a lifetime moment. But, to everyone's surprise, in September 2005 we saw almost the same storm again. This picture of my little pal Devin and I, was taken on the second day of it, when things were beginning to calm down. This is our main road running through town and it is covered with rocks and debris. We walked the shore line through town and beyond to just feel the wind and the waves. It was a pretty cool day. Its strange to see the sun shining so bright today and think about how different it was just last year this same time.




Hope you had a fun and safe Labor Day Weekend. . .

"Tomorrow, Stronger. . . "