You are not completely unrecognizable. Sasha, it's o.k. to be scared. I can't imagine that a person can go through cancer and treatments and radiation and wigs and boobs without every moment filled with fear. I haven't seen you in a while, but I think you are holding up quite well. It's crazy how life keeps moving, and many times we just have to see what happens. The last chemo is almost here. I cannot wait! Just think of all the things you will be able to do... I think with all the fear and pain of cancer, staying healthy and strong will always be the scariest thing, the unknown thing. But nothing else will scare you. Nothing else compares to this. Sasha, I love you and think about you all the time and wonder throughout the day, if you're out and about, laying in bed, looking in the mirror, crying, or what. I just want you to know that I'm with you as much as I can be. And I'm scared, too. BUT OPTIMISTIC and HOPEFUL. I know this has changed you... how could it not? But I will always love you and cheer for you. Sometimes when I'm stressed or scared, I try to think of something funny or ridiculous like Dwight from The Office or Ben pouring an entire beer into my school bag filled with student essays because he hadn't realized he was holding his beer upside down. And I tell myself, it's o.k., you're still here... just breathe. I love you and love you and love you, Romy
Wow... it is so good to hear your voice! I remembered the rest of the chorus to that Tim McGraw song that reminds me so much of you, "...go on take on this old world but remember that you'll always be my little girl". I will always recognize that sweet spirit that is you, that goes beyond what challenges you are facing and what physical changes that occur. I love you.
Dillon, Cerra and maybe Nolan and Heather will be coming up for Thanksgiving weekend. I am actually working Thanksgiving night but maybe you can call Thurs, Fri, or Sat!? It would be fun to visit as a group. Give my love to Mike...complete with hugs and kisses! TTFN :)
Hey Sashi! You actually don't look that different. The transition to where you are now has been quick, but slow enough that you aren't unrecognizable. I don't see anything wrong with sensoring what people see of you. I do it. I think everyone does. It's not like you are not being yourself, but I feel more comfortable covering up a giant zit (or many) on my face than being self concious of them and having them distract people from me. You aren't your bald head. It's a part of you, but it's not who you are. Anyway, it was good to see you and hear from you. I hope you get feeling better. Dillon and I were sick for a month, I swear! Yuck! Love ya!
Hi sasha, We just wanted to let you know you are in our thoughts and prayers! We are cheering you on for Monday and hope everything goes well. And by the way, we loved the video. It's nice to see you and hear your voice. The kids keep playing it over and over again. They are always looking at pictures of our Idaho trip and talk about you all the time. They send their love as well. Again, good luck tomorrow and know that you are loved!!
FINALLY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE YOU LEFT FOR ALASKA, I GET TO SEE YOU. YA, YOU LOOK DIFFERENT, TO BE EXPECTED, BUT ITS EASY TO SEE YOU BEHIND THE EMOTIONS, JUST LOOK IN YOUR EYES AND THERES MY SQASH. ITS MONDAY MORNING, YOUR PROBABLY STILL ASLEEP, BUT MAYBE, I HOPE, SOMETHING WILL TELL YOU TO CHECK OUT YOUR BLOG SO THAT YOU READ THIS BEFORE YOU GO IN FOR CHEMO. YOUR STRENGHT INSPIRES ME, THE UNSURTANTY THAT YOU LIVE WITH EVERYDAY, I JUST CANT IMAGINE, I WANT YOU TO COMPILE AHARD COPY OF ALL YOUR BLOGS SINCE YOU FOUND OUT YOU HAVE CANCER, THEN I WANT YOU TO FIND SOMEONE TO PUBLISH IT, UNSENCURED, JUST THE WAY THEY APPEARED, IN ORDER, BLOG BY BLOG. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH YOUR STORY WILL TOUCH OTHERS, HELP OTHERS, SO THEM THAT ITS OK TO BE SCARED, UNCURTAIN, NEEDY,... YOU HAVE BEEN GIVIN, IN MY OPINION, AGIFT, THAT GIFT IS THE CHANCE TO ENLIGHTEN THOSE THAT WILL FOLLOW YOU THROUGH THE DOOR OF ,ONLY WAY I CAN WRITE IT, ADVERSITY. YOU ARE THE MOST CORAGUOS PERSON THAT I KNOW. TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS MINUTE OF EVERYDAY, OF EVERY WEEK,... I CANT FATHUM, I ONLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONS OF SOMEONE I LOVE GOING THRU IT WHEN I VISIT YOUR BLOG, WHICH I DO OFTEN. TAKE THE TIME , I KNOW IM JUMPING AROUND IN MY THOUGHTS, SO FORGIVE ME,AND THAT IS ONE REASON WHY I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE THE TIME TO PUT TOGETHER A , IF YOU WILL, A BLOG JOURNAL, BECAUSE YOU TELL THE STORY OF YOUR JOURNEY SO ELIQUINTLY, AND SHOW US THAT ARE WATCHING AND WAITING, THE HARD JOURNEY YOU ARE ONE. PLEASE, IF NOTHING ELSE, GIVE ME A HARD COPY. LOVE YOU SO MUCH, CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU AFTER XMAS. AND AFTER TODAY, THE OPENING CHAPTER OF YOUR STORY WILL END, AND CHAPTER 2 WILL BE GLORIUS. MARK
You have always said the eyes are the window to the soul!So when I look at you I can see into your eyes.Ya I do see a physical change in you but my heart draws near to that wonderful person I know on the inside, the person that I love so much and who also loves me very much. Dont be afraid to admit that you are scared for this chapter to close because I think way way back when we first met and how that cdhapter closed a long time ago and how you have grown.Life is crazy when it thinks that a new door needs to be opened. I loved hearing your voice and I tell the neg energy to leave you and let you be in peace once in a while, to be free for a moment from tears and loss. I love you sasha
7 Comments:
You are not completely unrecognizable. Sasha, it's o.k. to be scared. I can't imagine that a person can go through cancer and treatments and radiation and wigs and boobs without every moment filled with fear. I haven't seen you in a while, but I think you are holding up quite well. It's crazy how life keeps moving, and many times we just have to see what happens. The last chemo is almost here. I cannot wait! Just think of all the things you will be able to do... I think with all the fear and pain of cancer, staying healthy and strong will always be the scariest thing, the unknown thing. But nothing else will scare you. Nothing else compares to this. Sasha, I love you and think about you all the time and wonder throughout the day, if you're out and about, laying in bed, looking in the mirror, crying, or what. I just want you to know that I'm with you as much as I can be. And I'm scared, too. BUT OPTIMISTIC and HOPEFUL. I know this has changed you... how could it not? But I will always love you and cheer for you. Sometimes when I'm stressed or scared, I try to think of something funny or ridiculous like Dwight from The Office or Ben pouring an entire beer into my school bag filled with student essays because he hadn't realized he was holding his beer upside down. And I tell myself, it's o.k., you're still here... just breathe. I love you and love you and love you, Romy
By
Anonymous, At
Saturday, November 18, 2006 11:12:00 AM
Wow... it is so good to hear your voice! I remembered the rest of the chorus to that Tim McGraw song that reminds me so much of you, "...go on take on this old world but remember that you'll always be my little girl". I will always recognize that sweet spirit that is you, that goes beyond what challenges you are facing and what physical changes that occur. I love you.
Dillon, Cerra and maybe Nolan and Heather will be coming up for Thanksgiving weekend. I am actually working Thanksgiving night but maybe you can call Thurs, Fri, or Sat!? It would be fun to visit as a group. Give my love to Mike...complete with hugs and kisses! TTFN :)
By
mamahawk, At
Saturday, November 18, 2006 6:31:00 PM
Hey Sashi! You actually don't look that different. The transition to where you are now has been quick, but slow enough that you aren't unrecognizable. I don't see anything wrong with sensoring what people see of you. I do it. I think everyone does. It's not like you are not being yourself, but I feel more comfortable covering up a giant zit (or many) on my face than being self concious of them and having them distract people from me. You aren't your bald head. It's a part of you, but it's not who you are. Anyway, it was good to see you and hear from you. I hope you get feeling better. Dillon and I were sick for a month, I swear! Yuck! Love ya!
By
Cerra Hawkins, At
Saturday, November 18, 2006 7:13:00 PM
Hi sasha, We just wanted to let you know you are in our thoughts and prayers! We are cheering you on for Monday and hope everything goes well. And by the way, we loved the video. It's nice to see you and hear your voice. The kids keep playing it over and over again. They are always looking at pictures of our Idaho trip and talk about you all the time. They send their love as well. Again, good luck tomorrow and know that you are loved!!
By
brad, carol, and kids, At
Sunday, November 19, 2006 3:52:00 PM
FINALLY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE YOU LEFT FOR ALASKA, I GET TO SEE YOU. YA, YOU LOOK DIFFERENT, TO BE EXPECTED, BUT ITS EASY TO SEE YOU BEHIND THE EMOTIONS, JUST LOOK IN YOUR EYES AND THERES MY SQASH. ITS MONDAY MORNING, YOUR PROBABLY STILL ASLEEP, BUT MAYBE, I HOPE, SOMETHING WILL TELL YOU TO CHECK OUT YOUR BLOG SO THAT YOU READ THIS BEFORE YOU GO IN FOR CHEMO. YOUR STRENGHT INSPIRES ME, THE UNSURTANTY THAT YOU LIVE WITH EVERYDAY, I JUST CANT IMAGINE, I WANT YOU TO COMPILE AHARD COPY OF ALL YOUR BLOGS SINCE YOU FOUND OUT YOU HAVE CANCER, THEN I WANT YOU TO FIND SOMEONE TO PUBLISH IT, UNSENCURED, JUST THE WAY THEY APPEARED, IN ORDER, BLOG BY BLOG.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH YOUR STORY WILL TOUCH OTHERS, HELP OTHERS, SO THEM THAT ITS OK TO BE SCARED, UNCURTAIN, NEEDY,... YOU HAVE BEEN GIVIN, IN MY OPINION, AGIFT, THAT GIFT IS THE CHANCE TO ENLIGHTEN THOSE THAT WILL FOLLOW YOU THROUGH THE DOOR OF ,ONLY WAY I CAN WRITE IT, ADVERSITY. YOU ARE THE MOST CORAGUOS PERSON THAT I KNOW. TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS MINUTE OF EVERYDAY, OF EVERY WEEK,... I CANT FATHUM, I ONLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONS OF SOMEONE I LOVE GOING THRU IT WHEN I VISIT YOUR BLOG, WHICH I DO OFTEN.
TAKE THE TIME , I KNOW IM JUMPING AROUND IN MY THOUGHTS, SO FORGIVE ME,AND THAT IS ONE REASON WHY I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE THE TIME TO PUT TOGETHER A , IF YOU WILL, A BLOG JOURNAL, BECAUSE YOU TELL THE STORY OF YOUR JOURNEY SO ELIQUINTLY, AND SHOW US THAT ARE WATCHING AND WAITING, THE HARD JOURNEY YOU ARE ONE.
PLEASE, IF NOTHING ELSE, GIVE ME A HARD COPY.
LOVE YOU SO MUCH, CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU AFTER XMAS. AND AFTER TODAY, THE OPENING CHAPTER OF YOUR STORY WILL END, AND CHAPTER 2 WILL BE GLORIUS.
MARK
By
Anonymous, At
Monday, November 20, 2006 6:15:00 AM
You have always said the eyes are the window to the soul!So when I look at you I can see into your eyes.Ya I do see a physical change in you but my heart draws near to that wonderful person I know on the inside, the person that I love so much and who also loves me very much. Dont be afraid to admit that you are scared for this chapter to close because I think way way back when we first met and how that cdhapter closed a long time ago and how you have grown.Life is crazy when it thinks that a new door needs to be opened. I loved hearing your voice and I tell the neg energy to leave you and let you be in peace once in a while, to be free for a moment from tears and loss. I love you sasha
By
Anonymous, At
Monday, November 20, 2006 8:28:00 AM
sorry that was me Alethea
By
Anonymous, At
Monday, November 20, 2006 8:30:00 AM
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