still awake

at 2:39 am. had a wonderful day relaxing with friends. they prepared an amazing meal. seriously the best turkey i've ever eaten. the trick. brining and horseradish. yuuuuuummy. played sing star for hours. super fun and horrifying at the same time. made the rounds and visited a few others, although not everyone that i would have liked to. its hard to fit it all in, but i sure appreciated those i did get a chance to visit with today. have been home for several hours and should have gone to bed long ago, but of course i got in the knitting zone for a while. its truly an obsession at this point. i fear that it very well may take over my life actually. that said, i still have no such desire to steer away. i love, love, love it. scary.

although its often said and may sound cliche at this point . . . i am so utterly grateful for my amazing friends and family and my health. i feel like a lucky girl living a lucky life (most days anyway).

a few other things i'm grateful for. . . knitting needles, peppermint tea, rocks, fluffy snow, sunshine, vacations, love, indian food, colorful paint, nice people, laughter, my king size bed, grapefruits, pictures of people and places i love.

farewell mcgrath

its been short, but sweet. this, my second trip, will be my last. unfortunately, there are issues with the grant which preclude me from being the clinician here. since i am in the public health service and my salary is paid by health and human services, rather than directly from my company, i cannot be paid out of the grant money. its necessary to have that grant utilized to pay the clinician travelling so that there is evidence that the grant is needed and is being used directly for the services provided. a technicality. so, they asked me to come one last time and transition out, which frankly seems ridiculous. to transition in on one visit and out on the next is just slightly absurd. i'm pretty sure i could have handled my 'goodbye' in an email or phone call. so, i then am slated with trying to explain this to those i started working with last time. ultimately it simply demonstrates nothing more than the usual inconsistency that these rural communities have with providers. i am in no way responsible for this flub that should have been realized before they ever assigned me here, but i still feel apologetic toward the people i've met. i suppose it was nice to get a chance to come here one last time though. took a beautiful flight this afternoon to nikolai again. the sun was shining and the snow covered landscape was just breathtaking.

i'm forgetting

all day i've been feeling like there was some reason 11/20 was significant. i was trying to recall who's birthday it was or what the other reason could be that the day seemed important. i just couldn't remember anything though. suddenly, it just dawned on me. 2 years ago today, i had my last dose of chemo. reading back on both 1 year ago and 2 years ago ago, i see that i was celebrating this 'chemoversary', but as i reflect today, i don't feel so celebratory. rather, i just feel surprised and relieved that the memory is fading away.

its getting longer

and straighter . . . ha . . . i wish. here is my new do (when i use a piping hot iron). its fun to see how long it actually is though.

at least i got a vacation out of it

my consult with another reconstructive surgeon in seattle was a couple of weeks ago. nice man, good doctor. i would feel happy to have my surgery with him. without going into too much detail (i just can't . . . its too complicated . . . too frustrating . . . and too emotional), whether or not this will actually happen is a big fat question mark. its possible, but its definitely not definite. i do have a tentative surgery date for april 23rd (almost exactly two years since my second mastectomy), but i will not know if my insurance will cover it until february or march. we'll see?

on the bright side, since i had a plane ticket to seattle, i took the opportunity to take a couple of other quick trips too. before my appt, i went to weiser, idaho to see my mom. dillon and cerra came up too. had a nice visit and finally got to see the work my mom has been doing on her home, which looks fantastic.

nikki and her kids picked me up at the airport and drove me to weiser where they stayed and visited for a while.

emmett looooved almosta farm and had a great time with the animals and lily happily relaxed in our arms. she is one mellow chick and is absolutely a mini-me of her big brother. they look sooooo much alike.

mom tried to teach me to crochet, but my hands much prefer the knitting needles. i'll try again, but i wasn't feelin' it so much this time.

i got a chance to finish a purse i was working on, which turned out awsome. can't wait to do another one. felting is like magic . . . i love it.

mom patiently helped me sew a liner too. i've used a sewing machine before and i even have a quilt under my belt (years ago). but, the truth is sewing machines intimidate me a little. not sure why, but i'm planning to get over it . . . soon.

i also finished a baby quilt i made for lily. i was hoping to have had this done by the time she was born, but i never got around to finishing the flowers. which in the end didn't turn out anything like i wanted. this was actually my first knitting project and has been patiently waiting for the finishing touches.

family pictures before we go . . .

(since my brothers haven't started having kids yet, its especially nice to have my 'adopted' niece and nephew, lily and emmett).

mom came with me to seattle, which was great. we stayed in a nice hotel and had a couple of fun nights together. i took her to pike's market of course . . .

and then we tried to make it to whidbey island, but instead of following my instincts (and the freeway signs) we followed the mapquest directions, which took us absolutely nowhere. but, 'absolutely nowhere' did have outlet stores, which proved to be a good detour. sad, but true, retail therapy was just what i needed that day.

next, i headed to minneapolis/st. paul to see my friends pam and steve. what a great city! who knew the midwest was so damn cool? i absolutely loved it there. i was romanticizing the place so much while i was there, but i must admit it was great to come home too. i do love alaska and even the cold was a welcome to me somehow. no doubt the twin cities are great though. i'm already looking forward to visiting again. pam and i took the train into the city one day for some shopping and afternoon margaritas at a cool tequila bar.

pam and i also spent a nice afternoon at the dog park (beach on the mississippi river) with their sweet labradoodle, annie.

i was lucky enough to be there to join in the halloween festivities too. we had a front yard bonfire and had fun with lots of kids and neighbors.

i also got a chance for a nice bike ride to explore their neighborhood, which is almost too perfect to be real. ella and i had a fun walk saturday morning and then we all went to enjoy one of the many urban lakes nearby before i departed that night. pam and steve are like many of my friends. 'haters' as i like to call them. rolling eyes and under breath comments about my incessant need to take pictures. but, in the end, they are like the other haters who love to see the pictures later. (see guys, isn't this family one cute?)

had one more night in seattle on the way home where i relaxed, got room service and knitted to my heart's content. i'm wondering when it will be appropriate for me to start a "ka group" (knitter's anonymous).

missing pictures

back when i posted about my backpacking trip with nolan this past august, i was planning to put up a couple of other pictures of that trip. a little late, but here they are . . .

visiting with our cousins

boating in boise with brian, nikki, and kari

night out with amy

hangin' with the jim, nikki, emmett, and new baby lily

i still wanted to share some pics from our evening in millcreek . . . but i haven't gotten the pictures from nolan yet (hint hint little brother).

don't you just love dogs

Releasethehounds.wmv

i love you barack obama

if you didn't weep with joy as you witnessed this historical night and incredible speech, maybe you were actually asleep. barack obama is an amazing man and truly gives me hope!! i'm so thrilled that he is my president!!!!!

thank you mr. president, for enduring and perservering!!!!

something to make you laugh

Imgoingtomissthisguy.wm

remember to vote today people . . . unless you're thinking about McCain/Palin . . . in that case, please forget!!

OBAMA BABY!!!!